deep

Exhausted. Body aches. Moving, sorting, cleaning all day. It started at IKEA. Need I say more? Well, I will. I am surrounded by things. Things to do. Things to put away. Things needing. Things wanting. Mouths to feed and bottoms to wipe. Stories to write. I am deep in this home. Deep in my head. I don't even know what's out there. I don't want to know. When I finally fall into bed at night, I lay there and think about the ocean. Blood of the earth. I send reiki and healing prayers. I go deep into the healing and feel more than I am ready to feel. Sleep.

[deep]

I am in over my head/out of my head/the green tables the white foam flower the dissonance/I travel a distance to get here/destination unknown/strange life gets stranger/a former coworker/a doppelganger/you hurt my feelings with your words/with your silence/violent/my heart bruised/caged without a key/travel without piano/delicate nerve endings/tips/its not all black and white there is red/the brown of his eyes/the dark of his chin/a bright blue awning, flags wave singing my prayers/there is so much to feel/I know myself/I know the withdrawal signs, the exile of the self/the longing for connection and the fear of overscheduling/not meaning to be shallow, a creekbed full of smooth rocks/start your own band and call it/off